Friday, May 24, 2013

On the Road Again ..... and slightly out of my mind

Today was a struggle.  You don’t realize how much you rely on the environment, the sort of external framework you’ve created to support you……….. until it’s not there. 

View from my balcony, early light

There are mornings when I awake with a headache, and it’s more or less clear what I need to do about it.  Then there are days when I get up to a state, not of pain, but of a strange sort of confusion.  I can’t remember where I’ve put things, whether I’ve taken my morning meds, what I was about to do, much less make a plan for the day or carry out the plan that’s already in place. 

Added to that, my stomach is usually just a little off, the muscles in my neck are bunched up and I have sort of an out of body feeling of all-over discomfort.  It’s as if I’m me but not me.  Nothing I do feels right, and no matter what, I cannot make myself comfortable

Usually when I’m at home, I come to realize I have a migraine with maybe just a little head pain.  I take my meds, retreat to my safe place, and wait it out.  Sometimes I can muddle through a day like this and get a few things done if no creativity is required and it’s not too demanding.

Keys and gate key in fruit bowl - in case I forget again
This was one of those days.  But I’m NOT home.  I’m in Mexico, by myself, having just arrived a day and a half before.  Traveling is always a little disorienting.  That’s usually fine, part of the fun even.  But today I couldn’t find ANYTHING.  Couldn’t remember where I put my meds, passport, tooth brush, room key, gate key.  I knew I was in really big trouble when I couldn’t find my dirty underwear stash and I began to think maybe someone had taken it.  That’s truly deranged!

Toothbrush and Meds

Now let it be said that I go to the same place in Mexico that I, we've been going for several years including the same hotel.  There are many reasons for this, but when you’re traveling alone and you are prone to the occasional fit of migraine hysteria, it’s not a bad thing to be in familiar surroundings where you trust the place and the people around you.

Abortive meds and, you guessed it, dirty clothes
stash.  "They" didn't steal it.  Who would?

Tonight I’m feeling better, and I did find all that stuff, by the way.  I’m actually quite comfortable coming to this little part of Mexico.  I speak Spanish and it gives me an opportunity to practice both listening and speaking.  I love to swim and listen to the surf day and night.  It’s worth it for me to travel in spite of the difficulties, but it sure is harder to have a neurological whirlwind going on in your brain when you’re displaced.  It makes me realize how much I depend on my home environment, including my husband and family, to help me live my life with migraine.

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