Today was a struggle. You don’t realize how much you rely on the environment, the sort of external framework you’ve created to support you……….. until it’s not there.
There are mornings when I awake with a headache, and it’s more or less clear what I need to do about it. Then there are days when I get up to a state, not of pain, but of a strange sort of confusion. I can’t remember where I’ve put things, whether I’ve taken my morning meds, what I was about to do, much less make a plan for the day or carry out the plan that’s already in place.
Added to that, my stomach is usually just a little off, the muscles in my neck are bunched up and I have sort of an out of body feeling of all-over discomfort. It’s as if I’m me but not me. Nothing I do feels right, and no matter what, I cannot make myself comfortable
Usually when I’m at home, I come to realize I have a migraine with maybe just a little head pain. I take my meds, retreat to my safe place, and wait it out. Sometimes I can muddle through a day like this and get a few things done if no creativity is required and it’s not too demanding.
This was one of those days.
But I’m NOT home. I’m in Mexico, by myself, having just arrived a day and a half before. Traveling is always a little
disorienting. That’s usually fine, part
of the fun even. But today I couldn’t
find ANYTHING. Couldn’t remember where I
put my meds, passport, tooth brush, room key, gate key.
I knew I was in really big trouble when I couldn’t find my dirty underwear
stash and I began to think maybe someone had taken it. That’s truly deranged!
|Keys and gate key in fruit bowl - in case I forget again|
|Toothbrush and Meds|
|Abortive meds and, you guessed it, dirty clothes|
stash. "They" didn't steal it. Who would?
Tonight I’m feeling better, and I did find all that stuff, by the way. I’m actually quite comfortable coming to this little part of Mexico. I speak Spanish and it gives me an opportunity to practice both listening and speaking. I love to swim and listen to the surf day and night. It’s worth it for me to travel in spite of the difficulties, but it sure is harder to have a neurological whirlwind going on in your brain when you’re displaced. It makes me realize how much I depend on my home environment, including my husband and family, to help me live my life with migraine.